In the last 5 years that I have been coaching one of the most common issues that people tell me they have is that they feel lost and confused about is what they are doing and where they are going. After just a couple of sessions I point out that they are usually better off than they realize. Let me tell you a quick story.
The story involves a businessman was on a trip. He was driving along for a little while and realized somewhere he had gotten off course and on a road that he did not want to be on. He was thinking of his upcoming presentation and instead of paying attention to the road he was thinking about his presentation. After we realized that he was on the wrong road he felt completely lost so we pulled into a gas station. Yes I know a man asking for directions, hard to believe is it? He asked an elderly gentleman that was behind the counter for assistance. The man smiled at him and said," let me ask you a couple of questions. Do you know where you started your trip from?" " Of course I do," the man answered. The man behind the counter then asked," do you know where you will end up?" " Of course I know that to am doing a presentation there," the man replied. Then the elderly gentleman behind the counter responded with," well in that case you are not lost you just need some directions."
There is a lot of truth in that story that we can apply to our everyday lives. Most people know where they began their journey in life and also what we dream about becoming in our life. Somewhere along the path of your journey of life you got off track. You may be on a road that you did not intend to travel down and now you feel stuck and lost in a little bit uncomfortable. You think you are lost but you still know, or at least most people do, where they would like to end up in life and before they retire. You just no longer know how to get there. All you really need are some directions and I want to give you 5 things that can get you back on the right path.
- Find a mentor - there are many people in your life who are probably older and wiser I have traveled down the road that you would like to take. These people have the experience that you do not and a lot of them would be willing and able to help you along the way. It is important for you to have people in your life to challenge you and help you stretch. Finding a good mentor will help you do just that and help you overcome the challenges when you hit those bumps along the way or may steer you clear of those bumps.
- Seek advice - find someone out there that is doing what you want to do. By seeking some advice about a possible career or career change or anything that you would like to do, talking with someone that is in that particular field may change your mind about even going into that field or maybe give you some insight on the good, the bad, and the ugly of that business. They can usually give you some insights that you cannot see from the outside looking in. It is usually not until you get into something and see all the inner workings of a career that you realize you do not want to deal with some of this. A good example was a man who was thinking about becoming a dentist. This man was about to graduate high school that year was seriously thinking about dental school. After a dental appointment one day he asked if his dentist would have some time to talk with him about it after his appointments. After the dentist talked with him and to his surprise the dentist told him," you really do not want to do this! If I had to do this all over again I probably would have chosen something different because right now I spend all day long looking in people's mouths and smelling their bad breath and trying to even get them to pay me at times. It is really not much fun at all." So seek out advice on what you are looking to do.
- Do not be afraid to make mistakes - much of life is trial and error and when we make a mistake it does not have to be final. Learn from your mistakes and accept it as part of the success process because we should be learning from our mistakes. A mistake is not the end of the world and mistakes are made by the thousands if not millions every single day. Without over 1000 failures of his light bulb Edison would not have perfected his invention. By knowing what will not work it gets us a step closer to what will work. So do not be afraid to make mistakes.
- Seek spiritual guidance - so what do I mean by this? I mean that you should realize that there is one who is greater than yourself who only wants to see you succeed and help guide you and help you through life. Everyone's life is not an accident and you are not some generality wandering around in some meaningless universe just wasting time. You are very unique and quite special. You are really being guided whether you believe it or not. Some people believe that they have gotten where they are by a set of lucky circumstances or coincidence. Someone once said that a coincidence is one God is at work and chooses to remain behind the scenes and anonymous. I truly believe that.
- Recognize that it is never too late - I just saw on TV a 90-year-old lady did her college degree. There are stories throughout history like Col. Sanders and Kentucky fried chicken who started when he was 65 years old. Grandma Moses was late in her life when she started painting. The list goes on and on. Their attitude was a key ingredient to their success. We never know how much time we have here on this earth so if you have a dream you should be going after no matter what age you are.
So those are 5 simple yet extraordinary tips to give you exceptional success. These 5 tips will help you stay on your journey and give you direction so that you may end up at your desired destination. Stay on the right path and use these tips to experience the success that you want and deserve in your life.
Do you like Chick-fil-A restaurants? I do love the food there in their service is always very fast and they are always friendly and courteous. I believe that Chick-fil-A has raised the bar for all fast food restaurants to have a better product and more quality food and to do a better job.
As I was waiting in line to order one day I saw the owner behind the counter and someone asked him how he was doing. His answer took me by surprise as he said, “I’m doing great as I am green.” That answer took me a little by surprised and didn’t know if he was sick or he didn’t know what he was doing in a certain situation.
It must have taken the man who asked the question by surprise to as he looked puzzled and asked him you are green? The owner answered yes. He expanded on his answer by saying, “if you are green then you are growing but if you are ripe then you are rotting.” I thought about this answer for a little while after getting my meal and it began to make sense to me.
I believe that what he was referring to is being green is that you are in the process of learning, developing and growing and becoming all that you can be in your career in your personal life. However, if a person gets to the place of feeling as though they have arrived then they stop growing and feel they do not need to learn anything else and that they are fully ripe and mature. Once you reach that stage just like any fruit you begin to rot after that.
We are all on a journey and none of us knows everything. Even the wisest teacher or business person or the wisest dentist or physician will tell you that they are in a constant state of learning. I am thankful of the mentors in my life who taught me the value of staying hungry to continue to grow in every area of my life.
I do believe that it is important that we all should mature to the place that we are proficient in our own particular area of expertise in our life. Wisdom and maturity comes with age, with hard work and learning some tough lessons in life. Now I am not suggesting that you stay immature your whole life but suggesting that you maintain an attitude of greenness that will help with the desire to continue to grow. It is very very important that you stay in the ongoing ripening process. It is when you think you have come to the end of that journey that the writing process will start.
I would like to summarize with three thoughts. First thought it is good to have an attitude that you are green and still learning because that will cause you to grow.
Second, it is important that you continue to ripen and develop some maturity while still maintaining a desire to grow, learn and become better at whatever you do. And finally third, be very careful not to have that “know – it – all” attitude and the feeling of having arrived at your destination. That is when the beginning of the writing process starts and you will get yourself and maybe others into trouble.
I hope you have a new appreciation for the process that good fruit and good people go through each and every day. Now it’s time for lunch at Chick-fil-A.
Life Performance Coach
Our habits causes the results we have in our life. Habits are hard to change but not as hard as most people think. I ran across this article by Jack Canfield and he puts habits into perspective. Read the article and and make a decision which new positive habits you want to create each year. Enjoy.
You are an accumulation of your habits. From how you get out of bed, how you shower, how you dress, how you walk, sit, and talk, how you respond to the world, how you act in front of others, and how you think; you are living out your habits.
Habits are necessary. They free up your mind so you can concentrate on how to survive day to day. You don't have to think about how to drive your car so you can be on the lookout for danger while you are driving. You don't have to think about how to walk so you can concentrate on where you're going.
Unfortunately, habits can also keep you locked in self-destructive patterns, which will limit your success. To become successful, you will need to drop bad habits and develop new ones that are in line with the life you want to live.
People don't suddenly appear in the life they want to live, habits determine their outcome!
What are the habits you have that are keeping you from achieving your goals? Really be honest with yourself here. Are you always running late? Do you return phone calls within 24 hours? Do you get enough sleep? Do you follow through on your promises? Do you plan out your day?
Imagine what your life would be like if all those habits were their productive counterparts.
What would your life be like if you ate healthy meals, exercised and got enough sleep? What if you saved money, stopped using credit cards and paid cash for everything? What if you stopped procrastinating, overcame your fears, and began networking with people in your field? Would your life be different? I bet it would!
So, my suggested action step for you is to write down some productive habits you could adopt and visualize in your life. Step two is to 'act as if' you were living these new habits right now!
I'd like to help you get moving toward creating more successful habits, so I'd recommend you develop four of your new success habits each year, one for each quarter.
Once you pick the new habit you're ready to adopt, next you'll want to create a method that will support your new habit.
Here are some ideas: You could write it down on a card that you keep with you and read several times a day. You could make it a part of your daily visualization. You could also enlist the help of an accountability partner who has habits to change.
It's important to make a 100% commitment to your new habit, so be specific about the steps that you're willing to take in order to drop an old habit and adopt a new one. Don't be vague about how you will change your habits. Spell it out for yourself so you can recognize situations that motivate you to act out your new habit.
Just developing four new habits a year will dramatically shift your life to be more in line with your vision. And the more in line it becomes, the easier the other habits are to replace because your perspective is shifting and you can see more clearly how your old habits aren't serving you anymore.
Make the decision. Make the commitment. Then watch your new, positive life unfold
A lot of people give up when things get tough on their dreams. NEVER GIVE UP! It is never over until you win. Watch this inspirational video and become inspired to never give up.
That's what Steve Siebold, self-made millionaire and author of "How Rich People Think," found after studying more than 1,200 of the world's wealthiest people over the past 30 years.
He also noticed one thought pattern they tend to avoid: nostalgia.
While average people tend to long for the good old days, rich people dream of the future and are optimistic about what is to come.
"People who believe their best days are behind them rarely get rich, and often struggle with unhappiness and depression," Siebold writes in "How Rich People Think."
"Self-made millionaires get rich because they're willing to bet on themselves and project their dreams, goals, and ideas into an unknown future."
This future-oriented mindset does not mean they completely neglect the past, Siebold emphasizes: "They appreciate and learn from the past while living in the present and dreaming of the future." And they don't just dream — they spend years tirelessly and patiently planning in order to realize their dreams.
Part of this ability to avoid nostalgia and look toward an unknown future comes from their comfort with uncertainty. They're not only willing to step outside of their comfort zone — they expect to.
"The great ones know there's a price to pay for getting rich, but if they have the mental toughness to endure temporary pain, they can reap the harvest of abundant wealth for the rest of their lives," the self-made millionaire says.
|My coach, Willie, sent me this article this week.
I was talking to a friend of mine the other day, and she was explaining to me how disappointed she was in people and the things that they do and have done to her. She went on and on about how upset and heartbroken she was, and has been, about some of her family and friends. She talked about how they hurt her and how she wished they would change and be better people. She wanted them to be different than the people they were.
Halfway through this complaint-a-thon, I asked her to take a walk with me in the backyard. Now, you have to know this particular friend of mine. She hates the heat, and it was a hot day. I said, "come on” so she reluctantly came with me.
We got outside and it was steaming hot. I could see that she was uncomfortable. Nevertheless, we kept walking around my backyard. As she was still complaining about people, I asked her what she thought of my grass. Mind you, in order to appreciate the grass you had to stand in the direct sunlight. She said “Wow, I love your grass. It’s beautiful, but it’s hot right here. Let’s cool off under that oak tree over there.”
So, as she started to walk to the tree I said, “No no, let’s stay here in the grass and cool off.”
She turned to me quickly and said, “We can’t cool off on this grass.”
Right then, I said to her, “But you just said the grass was beautiful."
"I did” she replied. Then, I asked her, “Why won’t you stay here?" She said, because she was hot and the grass couldn’t cool her off. So, we walked over to the oak tree and sat there.
She said, “Now you see? This is what I needed.”
Then I asked her this question. “The grass was beautiful. You loved it. Why didn’t you get mad with the grass because it couldn’t provide the shade you wanted?
She was confused, so I went on to explain myself. "People in this world, whether they were created a certain way or became that way through life’s circumstances, are who they are. Stop wishing they will be someone else."
I said, “The next time you get upset with someone because they can’t do, or can’t be what you want them to be, remember the grass. Never get mad at a blade of grass because it’s not a tree. Appreciate the grass for what it is. Let it provide to you what it can, but don’t expect more. Your life will get so much easier when you start letting people be who they are and stop expecting them to give you what they don’t have or don’t know how to give. Just like that grass couldn’t provide shade because it wasn’t made to, some people are not made to give you what you’re asking for. So, stop looking for it. You will be shocked at how much peace you find when you really get this."
And the last thing I said to her was this. “You wouldn’t be so frustrated with people who are like the grass if you had more people who are like trees in your life.”
I could really go deep into this, but I gotta go back to work. Talk to me. What do you think?
I am your constant companion.
I am your greatest asset are your heaviest burden.
I will push you up to successor down to disappointment.
I am at your command.
Half the things you do just as well be turned over to me,
for I can do them quickly, correctly, and profitably.
I am easily managed, just be firm with me.
Those who are great, I have made great.
Those who are failures, I have made failures.
I am not a machine, though I work with the precision of a machine and the intelligence of the person.
You can run me for profit, or you can run me for ruining.
Show me how you want it done. Educate me. Train me.
Lead me. Reward me.
And I will then… Do it automatically.
I am your servant.
Who am I?
I am a habit.
The words and phrases we use carry a lot of power and can either lead you to success or sabotage your efforts. This video will show you how your words can either empower you or sabotage you. Watch the video and please leave a comment below.