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Accepting yourself unconditionally

 I have a question for you.  On the issue of self acceptance do you know that it begins in infancy?  It begins with the influence 1st of all with our parents and siblings and also other important people in our life.

Our own level of self acceptance is largely determined by how well that we feel we are accepted by the important people in our own life.

Did you know that your attitude about yourself is largely determined by the attitudes that you think other people have toward yourself.  If you think that other people think highly of you, then you are level of self acceptance and self-esteem goes through the roof.

Now the best way you can build up your own personality so that it is healthy 1st involves understanding yourself and your feelings.

We want to let the sun shine into our lives.  For this to happen, you should do a simple self disclosure exercise.  This may not be a simple as it seems.  You do want to truly understand yourself because a lot of us are troubled by the things that may have happened in our past.  In order for you to achieve letting the sunshine into our lives you must be able to completely disclose yourself to at least one person.  We all carry baggage and for you to move past this you must be able to get this off your chest to completely free yourself.  You want to rid yourself of those guilty thoughts and feelings or regretful feelings to someone who will not make you feel guilty or ashamed for what is happened in the past.

You also want to understand what makes you tick.  So after yourself disclosure you want self awareness.  This happens when you feel free that you can disclose what you are thinking and feeling to someone who you can trust you then can become aware of your thoughts and emotions.  You can become aware of your thoughts and feelings on your own but it is always good to have someone who can listen without criticizing you or without commenting because that allows you to have the opportunity to become more aware of who you really are and also why you do some of the things that you do.  You will begin to develop a perspective about yourself.

I find that a lot of people are not even honest with themselves.  They hide their past even from themselves because they are so was shamed or feel guilty about the things that they may have done.  You must be honest with yourself to arrive at self-acceptance.  You should accept yourself for the person who you are right now, good and bad, strengths and weaknesses, and with the frailties of a human being.  You should develop the ability to stand back and just take a good look at yourself honestly.  Admit to others that you may not be perfect but you are all you have got and when you do that you will start to enjoy a sense of self acceptance.

One thing many people do not do is take an inventory of their accomplishments.  Celebrate your accomplishments no matter how small or large.  You should accentuate the positive so that you can minimize the negative.

You have unique talents and abilities these are your core skills, these are the things that you do exceptionally well.  These talents a count for your success in your professional life and also in your personal life right now.

You also should be thinking about your future.  Your potential is virtually on a limited which opens up all kinds of future possibilities.  You can do anything that you want to do and go anywhere you want to go.  You have the power to be the person that you want to be.  You can make plans and set large and small goals and move step-by-step towards those goals and achieving them.  Most people will put obstacles in this path by their own doing.  Their belief level is not to where it should be to achieve these goals.  In other words they have doubt.  And any time you have doubt you meet resistance which are obstacles.  There are no obstacles to what you can accomplish except the obstacles that your mind will put in front of you.

Let me give you some action exercises for you to do to move forward.  1st sit down with someone that you can trust such as a good friend and tell him or her about the things that are troubling you and that are causing you unhappiness in your life.

Secondly, develop a perspective on the problem you are having like taking a step back and imagining that that is happening to someone else.  Ask yourself what a slice would you give to that person?

And the last one is, you should be thinking continually about your accomplishments in the good things that you have done in the past.  And you should remind yourself regularly that you are a great person and that you will dawn on why good things in your life.

Just remember that life is not about finding yourself the life is about creating yourself.  You have the power to create the life you want.

Keith Young

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